Custom Search

Experimenting with Fib Poetry

It's a strange form. I don't think it flows very well, but I'm sure if I practice with it I can use the staccato nature form advantageously.

Anyway, here's one. Not sure if it 'works' - the first three stanzas are supposed to be very trite which is hopefully explained / concluded in the last stanza.

Still,
you
think it
would be more
meaningful to say
something from the heart; from inside.

Still,
you
think it
would be more
pertinent to say
words straight from the soul; your own voice.

Still,
you
think it
would be more
kind of you to say
things that have some personal truth?

Still.
You
think you'd
realise;
vapid verbiage
is very tautological.

16:18 - Sun-1-Feb-2009 - post a comment

too
much
fried food
and sodas
late at the party.
started morning in a bad way.

photostyle - 17:51 - Sun-1-Feb-2009

*ahem* many = 2 syllables *cough*

bebbet - 19:42 - Sun-1-Feb-2009

'many'? i see no 'many'
L_L

photostyle - 20:31 - Sun-1-Feb-2009

Sky
high,
soaring,
full of joy,
from the sound of your
mellifluous, beautiful voice.

Yeah, I'm feeling soppy.

Twist - 22:37 - Sun-1-Feb-2009

Sokay, I had to struggle to not do one of those too.

WelshPixie - 22:44 - Sun-1-Feb-2009

I don't understand.

Since all the pixies I've known have been very smart, I have every reason to suppose that you are using the words correctly when you say "vapid verbiage is very tautological".

And I know the meanings of all those words, but I just don't get the import of the whole.

Embarrasedly,
nightman1.wordpress.com

nightman1 - 16:27 - Thu-12-Feb-2009

Written with someone in mind who spouts empty meaningless messages a lot, as well as repeating the same empty sentiments.

The words vapid and verbose can imply the same meaning, thus to say 'vapid verbiage' is showing an example of tautoloty, and also hints (or at least, that's what I was going for) in this poem that the person in mind repeats themselves a lot - tautology.

WelshPixie - 16:33 - Thu-12-Feb-2009

But having said that... it does rest more on personal meaning so it probably doesn't have the same impact or significance when read 'from the outside', hehe

WelshPixie - 16:34 - Thu-12-Feb-2009

If you read it, it sounds like a certain James T Kirk

Mark - 12:48 - Sun-15-Feb-2009

These are the voyages of
the Starship
Enterpise
Boldy going where
no man
has
gone before?


bluehaze.typepad.com

Mark - 12:54 - Sun-15-Feb-2009